"The One" Doesn't Exist

We 20 something girls romanticize love too much. That probably doesn't make much sense, does it? How can you romanticize romance? It comes from the same root word, for goodness sake! Think about what it means to romanticize something. It is to make something seem better than it actually is, to describe something in an unrealistic fashion.

I am in no way saying that love is made to seem better than it really is. Love is the most complicated, deep, incredible emotion you can have towards another human being. It is, honestly, the best thing in this world. To truly love another person is to reflect Jesus' love for us and there is nothing ordinary about that.

What I'm saying is, however, that we make the process of falling in love and finding our forever person seem like a walk in the park. We are supposed to meet a boy, look into each other's eyes, fall madly in love, and live happily ever after with the one person who was made for us. Our "one." They'll be ready for you, you'll be ready for them, and everything will be like a fairy tale.

Except it won't. Except it doesn't work like that. Except love is terribly messy and hard and frustrating. There is not one person out there for you. How could there be only one person you could possibly be compatible with? You grow, people change, and depending on the time in your life when you are ready to fall in love and settle down, you will be around different people. It's a chance game and there are multiple players on the field.

It's easy to think that someone is your one. I met a boy and he is incredible. He has a huge, kind heart and we get along so well- you could say we click. I have feelings for him that I've never felt for anyone else and it's scary and I feel like one day, if the stars align, we could be so terribly happy together. That is what your one feels like. But to say he is my one would imply that if what we feel for each other doesn't pan out, I would be relegated to being alone for the rest of my life. If it doesn't work out with your one, then what? You're not going to be alone forever.

Love is a choice. You can't reasonably think falling in love will be so easy when marriage is one of the hardest things two people can enter into together. It is a fight, everyday, to hold on to one another and to God. You make a conscious decision to commit yourself to one person who you get along with, essentially. You decide to love them despite all their flaws, to believe in them when they don't believe in themselves, and to be there, no matter what, come hell or high water.

Falling in love is a fight. It is picking a person that seems fun and cool and that likes the same things as you do and convincing them that you're going to unconditionally love every piece of them. Do you think it's easy to convince someone that you will always be there? Do you think it's easy to actually always be there and not let something scare you away?

You will end up with someone that God brought into your life, someone that will make you incredibly happy, and who will love you unconditionally, and who will fulfill your every dream. But he won't be "the one." You won't fall in love at first sight because love is a process. Love is constantly evolving, always forgiving, incredibly demanding, exhausting, beautiful, wonderful, and it takes time. To decide if you can put in what it takes to truly love a person like they deserve to be loved shouldn't be a hasty one.

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